A pathological construction is when the consciousness reigns supreme and the subcortex, driven by its own interests, does not obey it, for obvious reasons
What Kind of Women do Men Walk Away From?
1. First of all, the conflict arises in the evaluation of the situation
The brain evaluates the situation from the position of its desires (roughly speaking, it looks at what brings pleasure and what does not bring it), and the consciousness from the position of its attitudes, or, otherwise, from the positions of worldview (here the dichotomy is different: what is right and what is wrong, what is good and what is bad). Of course, as a rule, the former wins. And consciousness has to justify all this, to make silly curtsies and to try to prove the following: "Camel is not a camel, but an animal with a hump".
The easiest way to look at this phenomenon is with children, because of the weakness of their conscious part of the mental apparatus: they have done something, made a mistake, and then, "He was the first to start! It's not my fault! And you tell him not to call him names!"Of course, if you are called bad names, you want to beat you in the face, but it is known to be indecent, you must find a decent explanation, saying that, "we acted out of extreme necessity, we all understand, but you judge for yourselves..."With adults, it's more difficult, because it's no longer someone you have to deceive, but you have to deceive yourself. A married man is not supposed to feel sexual attraction to a third person, but what does it mean when he wants to??
So begins a long negotiation with oneself: attempts to explain to oneself that, first, "everyone is doing it"; second, "look at my spouse, how can you not change it"; third, "I only did it once, and then that's it". What these excuses are worth, it is not necessary to explain, and sometimes, especially for "moral" ones, they fail too. Thus the following situation is formed: consciousness supersedes "forbidden urges" of its own spill, and those, in turn, not being able to be realized, reveal themselves in the form of different neurotic symptoms (health fears, depressions, alcoholism, etc.).) is also, you know, not the best way to relieve tension.
2. The second big problem is that the consciousness does not always notice what is meaningful to the brain
The latter begins to wander, and meanwhile the consciousness, not quite understanding what the problem is, finds extraneous reasons to explain this outrage. Let's give an example: any stressful situation causes a complex of different reactions in a person, including reactions of vegetative nervous system: palpitation, increase of blood pressure, disorders of gastrointestinal tract and urogenital system. Now let's imagine a young man who is trying to become a "real man," or, as they say these days, to take his virginity. The situation is clearly a stressful, but worry about the future, five minutes a man should not (at least so, the mind thinks).
On the background of stress and "vegetative storm" our hero has difficulties with potency, the young man tries to get sexually aroused, but anxiety is still the helper. As a result, the first experience fails, and the thought pops into my head, "Impotent!"Strange as it may seem, but this explanation sounds much more desirable and pleasant than the terrible factual one: snapped, got confused, couldn't. The last "accusation" sounds like an insult to a real man - no more, no less. And if he is impotent, it means that for external, beyond my control reasons happened such a situation - sorry, but I am not to blame. Well thought out, but then how to live with this version of the accident that happened? It is possible to live with this version, but the sexual life with such an internal ideology obviously will not get on well.
3. At last, the third pathological construction is when the conscious mind reigns (at least, so it seems to it), and the subcortex, driven by its own interests, does not obey it for understandable reasons
A conflict arises: I seem to want to, but something prevents me. Let's imagine a girl. Two or three years ago she was burning with a mad passion for a "man in distress", who, however, like most guys of this kind, is a jerk, who you can not count on: the wind in his head is fickle, no responsibility. Loved or dabbled in, it's not clear why, but he was even lovelier to a maiden's heart. One way or another, the result of this "soap opera" is a breakup. The love dominant, however, has not come to any "end", t. The wound is in place and healed only externally, at the level of consciousness.
Next comes the "ideal man" on our heroine's path. It's the one who loves, and carries in his arms, and does everything for her, and relatives on both sides are not pleased with him - and decent, and educated, and responsible. d I can't wait to see them, but I'm not an eagle d! The old one, that one was an eagle! That's why our belle has the dominant, because her love with that eagle was unrequited. If you answered, you might become a penguin - also a bird, by the way. But what to do?.. The eagle, you know, flew away, but my life had to be somehow arranged, and now there was a chance - an admirer was walking around, loving, asking for proposal. "That's how you miss your only chance!"My consciousness exclaims, along with my mother, of course. I can't help it, I'll have to get the hell out... And how well she realizes in her mind that she is doing everything right, and her former torturer tosses curses (the first sign that the emotional involvement is not weakened), but something is wrong, some kind of worm tormented. It's the subcortex, the subcortex, pining for the one, the one scoundrel, the one I love.
The result is this: we'll get married because the mind says, "We have to!", and since the subcortex says, "Don't go! It's not your betrothed! Yours over there, then!", then comes out a complete contradiction between the two. It's hard to change your mind here (and you can't even pin it on anything)!), then the subcortex begins its subversive activity: first hysterics, then depression, then feeling of own inferiority, then palpitations and fainting, then fears and obsessions, and then to the doctor - one, the other and, at last, to a psychotherapist. And if this doctor will not help, and here the work, as you can guess, a lot, then suffer it - our heroine - for life, unless, of course, again some "eagle" it does not form. Then let's start over! "How long can you do it?!
That, except for nuances, is all... It's easy to see that going mad, at least to the point of neurosis, is not a big deal; it's enough to be born a human being, so to speak.
(Excerpt from "The Laws of the Brain. Universal Rules")