How a man feels when he is argued with?
When the woman he loves argues with his man, he feels competitive, his secondary position, he doesn't feel ruled. Man meets resistance, competition, not accepting his opinions and ideas at work, by friends, in society. When he also receives the same at home, he feels confused, worthless and unimportant. He begins to wonder about the meaning of his life, the meaning of his actions and ... does not find it!
It seems to a man that if he is not accepted by those closest to him, what is the point of living. What for?? At such moments, his insecurity, the meaninglessness of life and everything that's going on, intensifies. This is the background of apathy and an unwillingness to do anything at all. Why? If everyone doesn't like everything, everyone has their own opinions and solutions for every life situation.
What important need of a man is not met when we argue with him? How he wants to feel?
Disagreeing and disagreeing with our favorite man, even with the brightest motives to show him his wrongness and desire to help him, we hurt him to the core. We don't accept him, his right to be wrong. A man's greatest desire at this moment of acceptance, and even if he says something foolish or is wrong in his ideas, it is important for him to exercise his right to be wrong. And not just to use, but to get support and acceptance from us.
I want to quote a man here: "Even if I talk nonsense, it's important for me to be accepted. I can change my mind, understand my mistake, but it will be my decision and my responsibility. If someone asks me to do something, it's important for me to do it myself. I have the right to make a mistake, and I am also responsible for its consequences.".
It is very important for a man to understand and feel that his family is a place where he is loved, valued and supported. It is in the family that a man satisfies his deepest need for acceptance and trust him. If we women desperately need to trust a man, it's vital for a man to feel that he's trusted, that he's believed in him.
How a man feels when they agree with him and support him?
"Remember, in some movie, the man told the woman to pack her things, they're going to the moon tomorrow. And she said yes, and began to pack her things. Both realize it's a crazy and unrealistic idea, but she said yes and it's awesome! When they believe in you and support you, you feel so deeply motivated to live, do something, move mountains, it makes you shiver, goosebumps! I don't need the whole world for me, I need just a little, but you're willing to do anything for someone else.
It seems to me that these words of a man do not require an explanation. I just want to say one thing here, as I watched him tell it, it made me want to believe in him, to support him. He was glowing with happiness, and I could feel that this was the meaning of life, which moved him. I'm sure if you heard these words from your partner, you too would want to respond to them wholeheartedly. Just because it's so emotional and vivid, it's impossible not to get turned on.
In real life, a man would never talk about these feelings to his wife. But that doesn't mean he doesn't have those feelings. Unfortunately, we do not know how to talk to the other person about his deepest needs and discontent, without accusing and not hurt him. I just want you to know what it feels like for a man to have faith in him and how much he needs it, even if your man doesn't say it openly.
How to believe in your man? Effective ways!
Here I want to make this set of rules-guidelines on how to support a man, based on my experience with my husband and men
Don't argue. If you don't agree, don't say anything and then do as you see fit. The absence of controversy is 50% of the feeling of trust and support.
Agreeing with his ideas, opinions or suggestions. It's enough just to say "Yes." Or "Okay.".
Express your faith with words. Like "I believe in you!", "You're strong!", "I know you can do it.", "You'll be able to find a way out.". The film "Alexander" can be very valuable in this regard, Where a mother supports her son. You can draw inspiration from him.
Compliments on the case! This is very important, especially to make sure the compliments are about the areas that are meaningful to the man. Like a compliment like, "You're beautiful." A lot of men think that's about nothing. Beauty doesn't help a man in life. Here's when, he's praised for his strength, reliability, knowledge, or better yet, specific skills and ability to deal with some situations - that's a yes. That's what you need!