When a man and a woman meet and fall in love, they begin to create the space of their love. It is essentially a sacral interaction, a sacrament of two people, their Souls, hearts, bodies. Every family is a unique Universe whose boundaries are so delicate and fragile in the early years. It's reasonable when a couple is aware of the format of their relationship, creates their own rules of interaction, development, happiness, etc. It's great when two people realize that family is a system, it's a world that they build on their own, realize that together they create the reality of their lives. All families are individual in their uniqueness, yet all families are essentially the same.
Cherish the space of your Love
Are there common secrets to wise family interaction that leads to happiness? There's! There is a very simple thought that for some reason seems very difficult to apply. Maintaining the integrity of the boundaries of the family format, it helps a lot to get out of the habit of telling anyone about your relationship with your loved one-husband or wife.
Why does it make sense to give up the habit??
Family is an intimate space of interaction between a man and a woman on all levels: Soul, Heart and Body. The presence of someone else in it disturbs the purity of the relationship.
Cleanliness at the body level - physical fidelity.
The purity on the level of feelings, which is the consonance of thoughts and emotions.
Purity at the level of spiritual and elemental interaction - harmony of world view, moral principles of interaction, etc.
It is not reasonable to take intimate information out of the family, because it destroys family space, harms the family.
Envy as a condition is typical of people immersed in ego. Often, people don't even realize they are jealous, and such people are all around us, from family to the most distant. Your stories about a situation of interaction with a loved one, such as a quarrel, generate feedback - an opinion on the subject, which is usually negatively colored, contains the energy of envy, which in fact only worsens your emotional state, introduces additional negativity into the emotional background of the family and in fact only exacerbates the state of the quarrel.
Often you can hear insults, condemnations, labels about your spouse while supporting you in your sad mood. Allowing someone to speak negatively about your beloved is disrespectful to your partner.
Bias - a way of psychological reaction, which manifests itself in a knowingly negative attitude towards something or someone.
Even if the intentions of loved ones - the purest, they remain ordinary people, with their subjective views, assessments and experiences that are very affect the perception of your confession. More often than not, people begin to project their own worries and problems onto your couple. That's where all these phrases come from: "he looks just like my ex-boyfriend", "all women are fools", "you will be dumped, I had it so"!" Advice from loved ones will be biased and subjective, add to that the unpleasant residue regarding your partner that you have sown with your past outpourings. In the end, you will make up again, but friends and parents will remain belligerent, undermining your confidence.
Friendship in a couple is manifested as the ability to be united in the principles of interaction with the world, for example - a taboo on complaining, tattling and gossiping about the loved one to their own and his: parents, relatives, friends, colleagues.
My dear women, it's so dangerous for us to "endure quarrels" out of thin air!
The bottom line is that a woman has a tremendous psychic force through which she affects a man. What she thinks her husband is, so he will be. It's true, and there's no getting away from it, whether we believe it or not. It's amazing, but if a woman attributes any negative qualities to her husband, he is bound to have them. If she believes in him and looks for positive qualities in him or even behaves as if he already has the qualities that he lacks, then very soon he will be exactly as she sees him. A woman can either trample her husband and ruin his life, or elevate him in a way he never dreamed of.
And it really works-try it! A woman's speech is a powerful weapon and a powerful medicine at a moment's notice. She should know how to use it: conduct her speech, manage it for the benefit of herself and her loved ones. To complain about a husband and criticize him is an unwise act.
There are many arguments for not taking the trash out of the house. But. The saying sounds suspicious, and it is quite logical to ask what should be done with the garbage? To save it or something? What to do with it if you don't take it out of the house?? Or there should be no rubbish in the house at all? But is that possible??
Actually, the correct version was "Don't trash the house when the sun has gone down. The proverb has about the same meaning as "wiser in the morning.".
Where was I?? To the fact that it's worth learning to work with your own emotions, to control them from the start. And it's worth remembering that husband and wife are mirrors. Everything that you do not like in your partner is in you, it just manifests differently than in you. So "garbage." may well be used for the benefit of self-development and your family itself. For the Family is a school of Love-collaborative self-development. The most powerful teachers in our lives are our parents, our children, and our husbands or wives.
And it also begs the question: going to a therapist - is the endurance of a quarrel? Is. So that the resort to a psychologist was useful to you, it is worth at least to understand the purpose of his treatment, a request to work with himself, to be ready to act - to form new skills of interaction in a couple. There is merit in openly discussing in the family the desires of someone in the couple, and asking a professional for support. It will be your first step toward quality relationship development.