How to let go of people who leave without saying goodbye
When building a relationship it would be great to start with the same thing, the foundation, the FUNDAMENT. But sometimes we start with something else. We women, often enter into relationships with fears of "just to avoid being alone," we support the relationship "just so he did not leave," do not leave them because "who else needs me like this?. Sometimes we throw ourselves into relationships just to keep them going, we endure some troubles and inconveniences just to keep the person we love near us, but then it all comes back to us. The initial heat of falling in love subsides, and we come face to face with the consequences of initial understatement, fears, and giving in to self-interest. With men, by the way, also happens.
Often relationship problems, quarrels, misunderstandings are a consequence of distorted frameworks, boundaries, expectations of each other in the beginning. And it's all a matter of shaky foundations.
It pays to show your desires and expectations of the relationship from the beginning. It's stupid to masquerade as an available liberated girl, to go to a sleepover with a new buddy after a club and expect that after a rough night he will suddenly decide to build a serious relationship. Even if it does, what kind of foundation and trust will this marriage have?? If at the beginning of the relationship is established that the girl is in every way cares and takes care of loved one, pays for entertainment, feeds dinner, then do not expect that he will change and want to get a job and take responsibility for the family. When you agree in a relationship to "free love" or having an unopened past relationship, consider whether you are ready to accept it permanently? Or do you smolder in the hope that it will end by itself?
By putting up with your partner's attacks and demands, trying never to show your needs, you could end up in bondage or withdrawing completely into yourself. Do we want it in the future?? Do we want to live with a warped, traumatized psyche? If we live in a house with a low ceiling - we ourselves will bend under it, but will it be good for our health in general? Avoiding expression of our feelings, so as not to spoil a relationship, we give up a part of ourselves. Then, when this part begins to assert its existence, there is a collision with reality, with the understanding that the relationship has to change, that it cannot go on like this. But after a sufficient period of time together (six months, a year, five years, 15 years) it will be much more difficult to agree, because the way of behavior is already built and accepted.
If we suddenly want to redo the foundation, it's harder to do when the floors and walls have already been erected. And it's even harder when there's a floor, or two floors, an attic and a roof. And the longer we tolerate, hide unpleasant feelings, adjust, the harder it will be later to remake the established order in the relationship. Be honest with yourself and your partner from the beginning. Trust your feelings, yourself and your loved ones.